Absconding

Absconding

Two of my relatives were absconding, one from Alleppey and the other from Quilon. Both were married and having children.

My father went to Bombay to attend an All India Kutchi Memon Federation Meeting representing Cochin in 1971. In free time he was just wandering in the market he saw the person from Alleppey and talked to him. He was absconding for the last few years after having a son. His wife and son were staying in his brother in laws house in Cochin. My father informed his brother in law and he agreed to bring him. My father brought him.  After seeing his wife and son, he took them to Bangalore where his brother is there. He got some job and got one daughter after coming. The son became an Engineer and daughter became a doctor. He died in Bangalore. His family are all settled in Bangalore in good position.

When I went to Bhopal in 1972 for a summer school in Moulana Azad College of Technology, my aunt asked me to enquire her husband who was absconding. She gave an address there. I went and inquired, they said he was there but left and no information. Also they said he may be in Bombay. In 1973 I went for a summer school   in IIT, Bombay with my HOD Prof Razvi. His sister was staying near IIT, so we both went to see his sister and family. When we were talking there, the person absconding from Quilon came there for some purpose. I was really shocked to see him. I talked to him, he said he was not happy with his family and left. He inquired about his children, I said his son has a small business, his first daughter married and second daughter is studying. After my talk with him he showed willingness to return. I informed his wife and children about the incident after my return. His son went and brought him back. Whatever he earned he gave to his son. He was affected by Cancer, the son took proper care of him and he died in Quilon. His son is now a well settled  business person in Quilon and wife died recently. 

Both these persons are traced accidentally. My father died in 1974. I think we could do a noble thing by able to unite 2 families. May Allah accept our deeds and give proper reward in the hereafter Aameen

My Mother

My Mother

My mother, Rukaya Bai was beautiful but from a poor family of Cochin whereas my Father Essa Ahamed Sait, BA BL was from a reasonably rich family of Kayamkulum. It was a love marriage at that time in 1936. Marriage was conducted in Hajee Essa Hajee Moosa Memorial High School, Cochin. Till 1954 they had a luxurious life as my father was having good income. But afterwards due to loss of money and failure in assembly election he became depressed and could not concentrate in the work. After wandering in Malabar we were brought to Kayamkulum by my Gr father in 1955.

My mother had 13 children but 5 died in childhood. Due to the continuous delivery and tension my mother got Asthma which persisted till her death. My mother was good in cooking and she could even make Urdu poems and sing in our relatives marriages including that of my daughter.

My mother gave religious instructions and guidance to us all. She used to wake me up in the early morning for studies. My mother was very font of me but since most of our relatives were in Cochin, she preferred to stay in Cochin but visited me frequently at Quilon. Mostly my mother stayed with my second sister Noorjahan of Cochin. My sister's financial condition was bad and my mother used to give her a portion of whatever we sent monthly.

My father was affected by throat cancer in 1974 big and taken to Madras cancer institue by my brother who was there. My mother went and was fully with him in the hospital caring and consoling him. Doctors finally said nothing could be done and they are brought back to Cochin. Full family came to Cochin and my father died in the presence of all by 20 Sep 1974. My mother died 17 years after that.

My mother's life was full of silent sacrifices. When I went to Bombay I entrusted my first daughter to her. She then brought her to Poona where my elder brother was working. Then all came to Bombay stayed with us for some days and left my daughter with us.

My mother used to help all relatives and others to the extent possible and liked by all. My mother was afraid of going to my younger brother in Madras as she was telling that if she dies there, her poor relatives may not be able come.

My mother was with me for about 6 months in Quilon for my sons marriage and then to see me off to Muscat in 1991. My mother was sad when I was leaving, I consoled her. After I left my mother went to Madras for Cataract operation, but when they tested her blood sugar, it was very high. Eventually she went on a coma and died just 3 weeks after my departure. My brother arranged for most of the relatives to reach Madras. But I could not go and attend the burial. This is the most unlucky part of those working abroad.

May Allah, the Almighty God forgive whatever mistakes happened knowingly or unknowingly by her and admit my mother in Jannath Aameen. May Allah make us all to see her also in Jannath Aameen.


Dr.Mohamed Ali Essa

My Wife

My Wife

I am married to Subaida, my father's sister's daughter. During marriage my wife was only 16 and I was 23. Marriage was in Kayamkulum in Aug 22  1965. I was then working in TKM Quilon.

Due to her younger age she was childish and was not knowing any cooking. So she was with my parents in Cochin and I was in Quilon. Every Friday evening I used to go to Cochin and return to Quilon by Monday morning. I took a rented house in Mangad and took her and 2 children by 1968. My sister and family also with us to support her. My brother in law was draftsman in TKM. The house was very big and almost like haunted one. My wife became anemic and had to undergo treatment.

We shifted to another rented house in third mile stone and my sisters family shifted to another house near ours. As she was week we had to keep servants then. My wife slowly recovered and became smarter. She even supported me and gave me courage in my hard times. She was never greedy willing to help all physically and financially.

When I went to Bombay with family for PhD she rose to the occasion and took up the complete responsibility of the house and children so that I could complete my studies very  fast. I am really indebted to her for the support she gave.

After our return from Bombay my father in law and then my mother in law died. This made her sad but she withstood that. By 1979 we became parents of 5 children. Their upbringing and schooling expenses were big and salary during that time was small. With one income we were srtuggling, then she started stitching skirts to support family. Both my wife and children gave me complete  cooperation to lead simple life without asking any help from anyone. All praise to Allah My son got admission in Engineering in Merit seat without even going for any entrance coaching. My daughter's marriage in 1989 at Coxhin was a miracle. Alhamdulillah We managed without help from anyone. Of course we had to take debt from some which we cleared selling our house in Kadappakada. My son also got married in 1990.

By the Grace of Allah I got a job in Muscat by 1991 and our condition became good. My wife and 2 children with us there and again she managed everything. We could go for Hajj and buy a house in Ernakulum. My son also got job there and he brought his family. We enjoyed the life there. After returning I retired from TKM in 1997 and we lived till 1999 in Trivandrum.

We came to Cochin then took up Principal post in YCET in 2006 where I got full recognition and job satisfaction . We were  Back to Cochin in 2009. Unfortunately my wife started showing  symptoms of memory loss may be due to the tough times she had and the seclusion many years. Anyway it is a test to us and we pray to Allah to save her from humiliation and total dependance. Due to her we were  in Kuwait mostly as 3 of my sons are here with family. 

We completed 50 years of successful married life on 22nd Aug 2015

In 2015 doctors in Kuwait diagnosed  gall bladder stone of size 2.3 cm. My sons and daughter in laws are taking proper care of her. We are planning to shift her to Gems Hospital in Coimbatore for the gall bladder operation. On 2nd Dec 2015 she is admitted in Coimbatore Hospital and they have made various tests keeping in ICU. Alhamdulillah  Operation was conducted on 7th Dec and she is improving.  She is brought to Cochin by 12th Dec. She is still weak.

We decided to return to Kuwait as it is better to keep her where all sons and family are there. So we came back to Kuwait on 12th March 2016.

As my gr son was gettimg  married  at  Cochin we brougnt her back in July 2018 and decided to keep here 

Subaida has supported me in all my hard times, managed the house fully, inspired me to further studies and helped all who wanted help. She has even fought with family members for the welfare of others and given the right direction to our children. She is now in a critical condition. 

May Allah forgive all her mistakes and bless her to have a happy ending Aameen

All my sons and daughter in laws helped her for about 4 years when she was laid up. 

On Tuesday 16th April 2019 , 5.30 pm my wife breathed her last at home in Cochin in the presence of my  second daughter in law Fathima when I was attending burial of another relative. Allah has saved her from the torture she had for last 4 years. We lived together for about 54 years. All these years she tolerated me and served me to the extent possible. May Allah give her Jannatul Firdous Aameen 

Dr.Mohamed Ali Essa

UPS and DOWNS

UPS and DOWNS

My life is full of ups and downs. In a way it was good as when there was a down I used to relax think about my deeds, correct it and proceed further.

1942 to 1954 I was in Cochin leading a royal prestigious life doing schooling. My father was having good earning and things were all good

1954 to 1955 in Malabar wandering in different places like Taliparambu, Kannoor, Kuttipurum and Tirur as my father left Cochin and unable to settle down anywhere due to depression of loosing money and loosing in the assembly election from Cochin. This was the worst time. My grand father brought us to Kayamkulum.

1955 to 1958 in Kayamkulum under the protection of my grand father. Life was normal still my father failed to come up. A strong determination to study and come up grew.

1958 to 1960 in Trivandrum doing pre university and pre professional. As my grand father became sick, mainly my fathers sister helped. Life was tough

1960 to 1964 in Trivandrum studying Mechanical Engineering. Main income was my scholarships but could pull on as there was hope about future. My grand father expired.

1964 to 1965 in Palghat working and supporting parents and brothers and sisters in a normal way

1965 to 1969 in TKM, Quilon doing job. Got married to the daughter of my fathers sister. Salary was just sufficient to manage my family and supporting parents, brothers and sisters.

1969 to 1970 in IIT, Madras studying M.Tech getting direct admission to the second year. The scholarship received enabled  me to pull on. No fees for the study. The support of the guide gave an intuition to study further.

1970 to 1974 in TKM having an average life with children growing up. My father expired, before that he was happy that I got admission for PhD.

1974 to 1978 in IIT, Bombay doing PhD under the Quality improvement scheme . I was with family there could lead a decent life as I was getting Salary from Kerala Govt and stipend from IIT and no fees.

1978 to 1991 in TKM. With 5 children and only one income it was difficult. We lived simple life. My wife and children adjusted with the situation and helped me. My daughter got married to an Engineer in Cochin in1989 and my son got married in 1990.

1991 to 1996 in Muscat with family. Could lead a decent and respectful life. Could go for Hajj with wife in 1993 and made a house in Ernakulum. Students gave good respect to me.

1996 to 1997 in TKM. They could not honor me and give the vacant Principal post due to some misunderstanding . As my son was in Trivandrum I went there after retirement.

1997 to 1999 in Trivandrum with Kamaludeen Hajee. He gave good respect but as my second son had big loss in Business  left Trivandrum to Cochin since I had a house there. I went for Hajj with wife in 1998. My second son got married in 1997.

1999 to 2006 in Cochin helping many organisations but all discarded me after their use. My sons settled in Kuwait so frequently visited them. Performed an Umra with wife from Kuwait in 2001.

2006 to 2009 in Younus College as Principal. That was really the place where my capabilities were recognised and full respect was given. I did my best to improve the standard of teaching and the image of the college. I performed my third Hajj with wife from there.  As my age then became 67 it was  difficult for the college to get new courses. So I selected a new Principal and returned to Cochin. My third son got married in 2006 and the chairman of YCET attended the function.

2009 to 2011 in Cochin with sweet memories of YCET visiting two times a year Kuwait and staying for 3 months there. My wife then started to show symptoms of memory loss (Alzheimer disease) so we decided to live in Kuwait where 3 of my sons are living with family. In 2014 doctors of Kuwait diagnosed gall bladder stone of size 2.3 cm in her. This made her life miserable.

2011  till date mostly in Kuwait doing research in religion doing some translation and social work.

I am thankful to Allah for giving me good times and bad times as a test. I am extremely thankful to Allah for giving a settled life as my sons  with their families are taking proper care of us. My one daughter is in Cochin married and Alhamdulillah well settled.

We could not think of a Hajj before 1991 due to financial condition. But Alhamdulillah I could perfom 3 Hajj and an Umra with wife and later an Umra alone. My prayer to Allah now is to make my death peaceful with Eeman Aameen 

Dr. Mohamed Ali Essa