Religion and Character

If a person is truly religious he or she cannot be rude and cannot misbehave with others especially elders. If a person not respecting elders and not showing mercy to younger are not religious. If any one kills an innocent person he cannot be religious. Only in war we can kill a person. We are not supposed to kill or do any harm even to an enemy if they are good to you.
But now in all religion people are not truly religious but communal and that makes enmity even to good people.
Purpose of religion is to realise our creator and to be good to all. If we do strong prayers and behave bad to others that means we are fooling God. If you are good to all including animals and if you do only little prayers, God will accept that
In the present time mostly people do not want to hear what elders say thinking that they know better. The experience of elders is not there with them.
In the present way of life all are engrossed in their mobile that they do not hear if someone tells something. Children know that when parents take the mobile they will be absent minded so it gives opportunity to the children to do what they want without even the parents realising what is happening.
Religion should inculcate all to respect elders and give some thought to their sayings
When people disobey their parents in the presence of their children they are actually giving a message to the children that elders need not be respected or obeyed. They will eventually get the effect of this by their children disobeying them

Kuwait

I came with family to Kuwait in 2001 first as my eldest son Mansoor was working there. He has joined for M.Tech in Kuwait University as a part time student. His project work was over and he wanted my help in completing the report. After doing that we returned after doing an Umra arranged by my son. Then we came many times and now my 3 sons are living in Kuwait with family. Due to my wives illness we are now forced to stay here mostly.

From 2009 we are mostly here as my 3 sons are here. In between we go to India and return within 3 months. This time I arrived Kuwait in Feb 2020 and unable to go to Cochin due in Corona and since all commercial flights cancelled 

Though Kuwait has lot of money I am surprised that no much progress is made here in the last 15 years. May be due to the fear of war.

Climate wise it is having extreme climate temp ranging from 50+ to 0 with sand storm in between. Salary here is very good so no one wants to return  !

Kuwait culture is that they do not normally entertain others in their homes. Mostly meeting others will be in office or coffee houses. Only their family members meet in Diwanya in the house or elsewhere

Dr. Mohamed Ali Essa

Dr.U.N. Gaitonde

I joined IIT Bombay in Oct 1974. My guide there was Dr. Achutan and after discussion it is decided to work on Combustion Characteristics of Cyclone Furnace. My M.Tech was on Turbo Machines. I have to now study on Heat Transfer, Chemical kinetics, Mathematical modelling and Computer programming. It was a herculean task.

 Luckily for me one of the student who was also doing PhD during that time was Mr. U.N.Gaitonde. He was a gold medalist in B.Tech from IITB and doing PhD by direct admission. We became thick friends. He was a genius knowing many things and also willing to help all.

He was of great help to me in making the Mathematical model and making Computer program in Fortran. 

When my family came he joined us in the weekend taking us in the campus and taking pictures. Till the end of my PhD and presentation he was with me. I can not forget him and I wish him all the best. 

After PhD he joined IITB as a faculty and still continuing as Professor. He will retire by 2016. He is also consultant for different companies in India.

We are still in contact. He visited us in Quilon and Cochin. I am extremely indebted to him for his timely help without which it would have been difficult for me to complete. May God bless him always

Dr. Mohamed Ali Essa

Hajj and Umra

Hajj and Umra

It is obligatory for a muslim having health and resources to go for Hajj and Umra atleast once in life time for the pleasure of Allah. We have the previlage of being the guests of Allah for this pilgrimage. Both these are performed in Mecca. Having gone to Mecca it is preferable to visit Madeena to have ziarath of the maqbara of Rasool SA. We have to sacrifice our time, money and pleasures for the pleasure of Allah.

Till 1991 I could not think of going due to financial difficulties. Fortunately I got a job in Muscat and Alhamdulillah my condition became stable. After clearing my debts and helping my sisters daughter's marriages, I went for Hajj in 1993 with my wife by road in special bus from Muscat. It took more than 2 days for going and similar time for return. We went first to Madeena for 2 days and after Ziarath of the maqbara of Rasool SA and praying in Masjid Nabawi went to Mecca. Seeing the Kaba for the first time was a wonderful experience of peace and satisfaction. We remained for 15 days in Mecca doing the rituals of Umra and then Hajj. Main thing which is tested in all these is whether you are submissive to Allah and obey the sayings of Rasool SA and whether you are patient in the difficulties faced.

Next time I again went with my wife for Umra and Hajj in 1998 when we were in Trivandrum. Then all the Hajj flights were from Madras. We first went to my brother in Madras and then to Mecca. One of our cousin sister who was an elderly member of our family accompanied us. This time we went first to Mecca and after finishing Umra and Hajj went to Madeena. My wife had little fever and giddiness there but it was OK after taking medicines. It took more than 40 days as we went in Hajj committee. 

In 2001 when we came to our sons house in Kuwait he arranged for an Umra for me, wife and elder daughter by bus. It was very pleasant as there was no rush in Rabial Awal (June). We returned after visiting the maqbara of Rasool SA at Madeena. 

In 2006 when I was Principal of Younus College, Quilon I again went for Umra and Hajj with wife. This time also it was through Hajj Committee and flight was from Calicut. We went first to Madeena and then to Mecca. Everytime you visit Mecca and Madeena you experience different feelings and the satisfaction you get is unimaginable. This time in Mecca I had chest pain. My wife took me to the clinic. Doctors frightened me. We just left the clinic gave a sadka and surprisingly I became ok. My mother used to say sadka will save you from all difficulties. 

In 2014 when we are in Kuwait my sons arranged to go for an Umra by bus. As my wife's health condition was not good I went alone. One advantage of being alone is that you need not worry about others and can do all rituals without anxiety. 

In 2019 Nov my son wanted me to accompany them for an Umra. Though I did not agree for it immediately later I thought it is better to go as a last Umra. Alhamdulillah tickets booked for 21st to go to Madeena first and then to Mecca for Umra and return insha Allah on 24th night. Alhamdulillah we performed Umra in the most peaceful way. May Allah accept our Umra and all duas Aameen 

May Allah accept all our Umra and Hajj, forgive all our sins and accept all our prayers for ourselves , our family, other relatives and the whole human beings Aameen. 

Dr. Mohamed Ali Essa

Absconding

Absconding

Two of my relatives were absconding, one from Alleppey and the other from Quilon. Both were married and having children.

My father went to Bombay to attend an All India Kutchi Memon Federation Meeting representing Cochin in 1971. In free time he was just wandering in the market he saw the person from Alleppey and talked to him. He was absconding for the last few years after having a son. His wife and son were staying in his brother in laws house in Cochin. My father informed his brother in law and he agreed to bring him. My father brought him.  After seeing his wife and son, he took them to Bangalore where his brother is there. He got some job and got one daughter after coming. The son became an Engineer and daughter became a doctor. He died in Bangalore. His family are all settled in Bangalore in good position.

When I went to Bhopal in 1972 for a summer school in Moulana Azad College of Technology, my aunt asked me to enquire her husband who was absconding. She gave an address there. I went and inquired, they said he was there but left and no information. Also they said he may be in Bombay. In 1973 I went for a summer school   in IIT, Bombay with my HOD Prof Razvi. His sister was staying near IIT, so we both went to see his sister and family. When we were talking there, the person absconding from Quilon came there for some purpose. I was really shocked to see him. I talked to him, he said he was not happy with his family and left. He inquired about his children, I said his son has a small business, his first daughter married and second daughter is studying. After my talk with him he showed willingness to return. I informed his wife and children about the incident after my return. His son went and brought him back. Whatever he earned he gave to his son. He was affected by Cancer, the son took proper care of him and he died in Quilon. His son is now a well settled  business person in Quilon and wife died recently. 

Both these persons are traced accidentally. My father died in 1974. I think we could do a noble thing by able to unite 2 families. May Allah accept our deeds and give proper reward in the hereafter Aameen

My Mother

My Mother

My mother, Rukaya Bai was beautiful but from a poor family of Cochin whereas my Father Essa Ahamed Sait, BA BL was from a reasonably rich family of Kayamkulum. It was a love marriage at that time in 1936. Marriage was conducted in Hajee Essa Hajee Moosa Memorial High School, Cochin. Till 1954 they had a luxurious life as my father was having good income. But afterwards due to loss of money and failure in assembly election he became depressed and could not concentrate in the work. After wandering in Malabar we were brought to Kayamkulum by my Gr father in 1955.

My mother had 13 children but 5 died in childhood. Due to the continuous delivery and tension my mother got Asthma which persisted till her death. My mother was good in cooking and she could even make Urdu poems and sing in our relatives marriages including that of my daughter.

My mother gave religious instructions and guidance to us all. She used to wake me up in the early morning for studies. My mother was very font of me but since most of our relatives were in Cochin, she preferred to stay in Cochin but visited me frequently at Quilon. Mostly my mother stayed with my second sister Noorjahan of Cochin. My sister's financial condition was bad and my mother used to give her a portion of whatever we sent monthly.

My father was affected by throat cancer in 1974 big and taken to Madras cancer institue by my brother who was there. My mother went and was fully with him in the hospital caring and consoling him. Doctors finally said nothing could be done and they are brought back to Cochin. Full family came to Cochin and my father died in the presence of all by 20 Sep 1974. My mother died 17 years after that.

My mother's life was full of silent sacrifices. When I went to Bombay I entrusted my first daughter to her. She then brought her to Poona where my elder brother was working. Then all came to Bombay stayed with us for some days and left my daughter with us.

My mother used to help all relatives and others to the extent possible and liked by all. My mother was afraid of going to my younger brother in Madras as she was telling that if she dies there, her poor relatives may not be able come.

My mother was with me for about 6 months in Quilon for my sons marriage and then to see me off to Muscat in 1991. My mother was sad when I was leaving, I consoled her. After I left my mother went to Madras for Cataract operation, but when they tested her blood sugar, it was very high. Eventually she went on a coma and died just 3 weeks after my departure. My brother arranged for most of the relatives to reach Madras. But I could not go and attend the burial. This is the most unlucky part of those working abroad.

May Allah, the Almighty God forgive whatever mistakes happened knowingly or unknowingly by her and admit my mother in Jannath Aameen. May Allah make us all to see her also in Jannath Aameen.


Dr.Mohamed Ali Essa

My Wife

My Wife

I am married to Subaida, my father's sister's daughter. During marriage my wife was only 16 and I was 23. Marriage was in Kayamkulum in Aug 22  1965. I was then working in TKM Quilon.

Due to her younger age she was childish and was not knowing any cooking. So she was with my parents in Cochin and I was in Quilon. Every Friday evening I used to go to Cochin and return to Quilon by Monday morning. I took a rented house in Mangad and took her and 2 children by 1968. My sister and family also with us to support her. My brother in law was draftsman in TKM. The house was very big and almost like haunted one. My wife became anemic and had to undergo treatment.

We shifted to another rented house in third mile stone and my sisters family shifted to another house near ours. As she was week we had to keep servants then. My wife slowly recovered and became smarter. She even supported me and gave me courage in my hard times. She was never greedy willing to help all physically and financially.

When I went to Bombay with family for PhD she rose to the occasion and took up the complete responsibility of the house and children so that I could complete my studies very  fast. I am really indebted to her for the support she gave.

After our return from Bombay my father in law and then my mother in law died. This made her sad but she withstood that. By 1979 we became parents of 5 children. Their upbringing and schooling expenses were big and salary during that time was small. With one income we were srtuggling, then she started stitching skirts to support family. Both my wife and children gave me complete  cooperation to lead simple life without asking any help from anyone. All praise to Allah My son got admission in Engineering in Merit seat without even going for any entrance coaching. My daughter's marriage in 1989 at Coxhin was a miracle. Alhamdulillah We managed without help from anyone. Of course we had to take debt from some which we cleared selling our house in Kadappakada. My son also got married in 1990.

By the Grace of Allah I got a job in Muscat by 1991 and our condition became good. My wife and 2 children with us there and again she managed everything. We could go for Hajj and buy a house in Ernakulum. My son also got job there and he brought his family. We enjoyed the life there. After returning I retired from TKM in 1997 and we lived till 1999 in Trivandrum.

We came to Cochin then took up Principal post in YCET in 2006 where I got full recognition and job satisfaction . We were  Back to Cochin in 2009. Unfortunately my wife started showing  symptoms of memory loss may be due to the tough times she had and the seclusion many years. Anyway it is a test to us and we pray to Allah to save her from humiliation and total dependance. Due to her we were  in Kuwait mostly as 3 of my sons are here with family. 

We completed 50 years of successful married life on 22nd Aug 2015

In 2015 doctors in Kuwait diagnosed  gall bladder stone of size 2.3 cm. My sons and daughter in laws are taking proper care of her. We are planning to shift her to Gems Hospital in Coimbatore for the gall bladder operation. On 2nd Dec 2015 she is admitted in Coimbatore Hospital and they have made various tests keeping in ICU. Alhamdulillah  Operation was conducted on 7th Dec and she is improving.  She is brought to Cochin by 12th Dec. She is still weak.

We decided to return to Kuwait as it is better to keep her where all sons and family are there. So we came back to Kuwait on 12th March 2016.

As my gr son was gettimg  married  at  Cochin we brougnt her back in July 2018 and decided to keep here 

Subaida has supported me in all my hard times, managed the house fully, inspired me to further studies and helped all who wanted help. She has even fought with family members for the welfare of others and given the right direction to our children. She is now in a critical condition. 

May Allah forgive all her mistakes and bless her to have a happy ending Aameen

All my sons and daughter in laws helped her for about 4 years when she was laid up. 

On Tuesday 16th April 2019 , 5.30 pm my wife breathed her last at home in Cochin in the presence of my  second daughter in law Fathima when I was attending burial of another relative. Allah has saved her from the torture she had for last 4 years. We lived together for about 54 years. All these years she tolerated me and served me to the extent possible. May Allah give her Jannatul Firdous Aameen 

Dr.Mohamed Ali Essa